Hannah Louise Swift

It’s OK, I survived! It may explain my lax blog posting of late though! I did indeed have the Swine Flu, very kindly given to me my my neighbour Terri who is training to be an English Teacher.

She had set me up on a blind date with a young whipper snapper called Matt (more on that should the time come later down the line!) and during the evening had confessed to having some form of cold… The evening was a roaring success and consequently she is now fondly known as ‘Cilla’. However the next day feeling rough as hell, she was prescribed Tamiflu and advised to stay off school and in bed.

I got up the Monday morning complaining of a sore throat, but thinking it was down to snoring, trotted off to work. By the time I hit work I knew something was wrong and explained to the boss man the situation. I was at the doctors that morning anyway and mentioned it to them… I was prescribed Tamiflu and told to stay off work! Bad times. At this point I was feeling ill, but not too bad…

I arrived home and within an hour or so was feeling horrific. The symptoms you can get are…
If you or a member of your family has a fever or high temperature (over 38°C/100.4°F) and two or more of the following symptoms, you may have swine flu:
unusual tiredness,
headache,
runny nose,
sore throat,
shortness of breath or cough,
loss of appetite,
aching muscles,
diarrhoea or vomiting.

Apart from the bottom one, I had them all. Along with shivering violently, sweating, runny eyes, chest pains, sickness (due to Tamiflu not the Swine) cant wake up, cant get to sleep. You name it, I had it…

It seemed to get worse then get better then get much much worse. Put that with the most painful cough ever that would literally knock the wind out of you and a total inability to do anything but snuggle under the duvet and you are not even close to what it feels like. I have been ill before, but never like this. I sobbed at one point as I just couldnt take the feeling of illness any longer. Even my mummy offered to come all the way from Derbyshire to look after me!

The first week was by far the worst, and once I had gotten through that, I began to see the light. I ended up being signed off for another week due to the chest pains and cough that had been keeping me awake! I have never been so glad to go to work. 4 wall syndrome had very definitely kicked in!

Massive thanks to everyone who sent well wishes, jokes, messages on facebook, twitter and email. Although I didnt pick most of them up until after the swine had gone, they really meant alot!

On a plus note, I did lose lots of weight in those 2 weeks! 3/4 of a stone! Get on you Janner!

That’s right folks, my lovely lovely proton, that served me… not so well… for 2 years finally died. It was a sad day for not just me, not just Plymouth but the entire nation. That car had been loved by so many, driven by a selected few and desired by the masses!

Since getting the car for Christmas in 2008 the car had a fair amount done to it, new back box, MOT, new windscreen, MOT, new tyres – oh and a complete new engine almost when the head gasket blew on the M1 heading to my parents 50th birthday party! So all in all, a fair amount had been done to it.

When heading back from Red’s party (no age mentioned) my car decided to die, once and for all. I could feel something wasn’t right and so I pulled over, and waited patiently for the recovery driver. Of course there were tears, I was on the M25, it was pissing down with rain and I was trying to get to Julie’s for sunday dinner. GUTTED.

I was handed a sexy outfit by the highways patrol people, see below, then I waited for the truck – Tony and his truck turned up and we set off into the journey back to plymouth we stopped off at exeter services and he got me a nice brew! he was a really nice bloke who could see i wasnt just pissed off, i was kinda upset too.

Finally we got home.

22nd Novemeber 2009 – The Proton Got Sick

24th Novemeber 2009 – The Proton Was Pronounced Dead

28th Novemeber 2009 – Certificate Of Destruction Received.

RIP Proton, you served me well old friend.

The sexy outfit given to me by the highways agency motorway people.

Bye Bye Proton!

John saying a final farewell

The dint

T

My beloved proton

It started out as this mysterious facebook status…

It ended up like this…

The most amazing and unexpected thing happened today, the phone rang in the office to say there was a large parcel in reception and someone needed to pick it up, so as John had answered the phone, off he toddled to get the parcel. Thinking nothing of it I carried on with my day. A few minutes later and John arrives back in the office with a huge box. He headed over to my desk (there is a cupboardy thing next to it) and instead of putting it where i expected him too, he put it on my desk. Originally I just thought he was being funny, until I saw my name on it… I hadnt ordered anything, i wasnt expecting anything… confused!!!
I saw on the outside of the box who it was from and my initial thoughts were – is it really macdonalds? (private joke, whereby I had joked about being sent one in the post) I think my next words were “is it a man?”
It was like all my Christmasses had come at once, and usually i HATE suprises!!!

Whatever was inside was beautifully wrapped with pretty silver stars and sparkly paper and a note from Frank and Gem (the senders of the amazing gift) So, as i pulled gift after gift after gift out of the box, I said, this can’t all be for me can it? Mark (the boss man) informed me that it was all for me!!! BLIMEY
So just what was in the box you ask…
A HUGE box of jelly beans! 50 flavours!

See all the pretties, I did try them all, and will run further experiments to determine the best flavour

A MASSIVE box of choccies!

I offered them around and look what happened!!!

A box of dotty cookies! Just like me, abit dotty! mmn cookies! perfect for dunking!

A bag of christmassy gingerbread men! nom nom nom, also good for dunking!

A MAHOOSIVE jar of jelly sweeties. I may have made quite a dent on these!

My new favourite mug! perfect for the liquids to dunk the biscuits in

A bottle of Cherry Sourz! The best non rum spirit, and excellent with coke!

A bottle of the finest spirit invented, from my spiritual home, Barbados

I know! Never ending gift! It was like Mary Poppins’ bag! I’m not entirely sure what I did to deserve such an amazing and generous present. I’m still really shocked by it all. You ever feel like the word thankyou just isnt enough? That is how I feel now. Frank and Gem are the kindest, nicest people in the industry who are sickeningly in love. They are soul mates who have a beautiful family and now I sound like a right loon! I’m really touched by the gift, especially since I found out you started it weeks ago! Sneakily finding out all my favourite things (Gem)!!!

So once again, thanks to Frank and Gem of underwear.co.uk

Here is a quick round up of my holiday…

Erm, can’t really remember to be honest… It’s gone so quickly, that’s always the way though! I think I spent most of it next door with Terri and Martyn, my most awesome neighbours and their doggy Oakley! Friday night was celebrating being on holiday so we had a few drinks. It had been Terri’s graduation that week so her family were down. I had a migraine so went home after a bottle of bubbly (shared) and then had a good sleep.

Saturday they had a small gathering, so once again i frequented their lovely home.

Sunday, erm… I think I was probably round there again… I usually am – It helps that they feed me and make a perfect cuppa.

I woke up on Sunday feeling like someone had twatted me in the eye (more on this later)

Monday I had a good clean round as I had invited Terri and Martyn to mine for food. It felt just like come dine with me! I made spanish chicken with some veg and roasties, then home made apple crumble and custard. I expect full marks and the grand! lol
By Monday my eye was really throbbing…

Tuesday – vegetation to the extreme! Then i sorted some bills etc etc, bought car tax (oh how fun) then had an argument with virgin who had been charging me twice a month for 6 months! (note to self – check bank statements more closely)
I got Terri to check my eye over a brew and it was confirmed as being swolen!

Weds – Had a lazy day – Went to see the doctor who said its a gland in my eye thats all pooped. It should go away in it’s own time… Also saw an optician! I took advantage of the free Tesco eye tests… I even treated myself to some value glasses – a BARGAIN at £40 all in, lenses the works… They start at £20 all in but I didnt want to seem tight fisted!
The optician confirmed the greasy producing gland in my tear duct that keeps my lashes healthy was being twatty and advised warm compresses…

So thats my holiday… I was supposed to dive on mon and weds, but due to my sorry state of an eye, i didnt…

I caught up on lots of TV, stayed away from my computer, and chilled a little, hard to chill with a painful eye!

So I am back to work in the morning… back to the grindstone.

Peace out, I’m off to sleep!

xxx

A few weeks, or is it months ago now I went to the Arcane Festival in Oxfordshire, which ended up as a major tour of some of the UK. I plotted the vague route on Google maps which says 512 miles and 9 hrs 26mins… Now, I may have had a few accidental detours which are not plotted, like turning the wrong way on the motorway from the festival… or reading a sign wrong and driving through london, but shhh… we wont mention that!
So leg 1 of the journey:-
Into town to change a dress, from town straight onto the festival. The rain was pouring down and being a Saturday the traffic was manic! In fact the traffic was sooo bad it took me 3 hours to get 100 miles. Luckily I had purchased food and sweets to keep my occupied, although after the 3 hours, it had pretty much all gone!
 
I eventually arrived at the festival a good 2 hours later than planned, and with just my luck, a dead sat nav, that decided to die just as I really needed it. (my cigarette lighter in my car doesn’t work, so no before you ask, I couldn’t just plug it in). The festival was awesome, I was even found with my ref’s whistle bopping away and tooting! Although the rain came, it didn’t put too much of a dampner on things!
Leg 2 of the journey:-
Arcane to Aylesbury. The next morning I got my car and headed off to Aylesbury to see my closest friend. I hadn’t seen her for a while, so decided as i was so close, i should suprise her! I turned the wrong way getting on the motorway, so had a small detour, and with no sat nav was paying real attention to the road signs. I got there in on bit and loved a good brew and a natter!
Leg 3 of the journey:-
Aylesbury to Hemel Hempstead. As I was once again so close to some dear friends, I decided to nip and see them, so 20 minutes in the proton and I arrived at their house, completely by suprise. Their faces were a real picture! Ha ha ha! A few soft drinks and another catch up later and i headed to maccy d’s for a spot of din din’s.
Leg 4 of the journey:-
Hemel to Isleworth. This is a journey i have made a number of times, yet for some reason my inner navigator took me on a real mental journey. Instead of getting on the M4 or M40 i took the wrong bloody raod and ended up tramping through West London in the traffic totally unaware of where I was. I finally ended up at the right place to meet yet another few friends for a coke and a few games of pool (i lost!) I finally decided to call it a night as I still had a tremendous journey ahead of me!
The final Leg home:-
Tiredness doesnt touch how pooped I was driving home, but luckily the roads were clear so with the radio on and my eyes sagging, a few hours later I made it home, and promtly passed out.

I had such a great and really needed weekend with my closest friends and although I was shattered for a good few days after it, I would deffo do it again.

And… best of all, the sexy proton held out for me! go proton!