Hannah Louise Swift

I rent my house, let me start with that. If I had the money, I would buy it because I love it. But, when you rent there are a few things that you don’t usually own, one of these things being a lawn mower. I have never had a garden before so there has never been a use for one. Now I have 2 bits of lawn out the back and a chunk of grass out the front.
I like gardening and sitting out relaxing with a beverage or 3, so I thought I better go out sort the jungle growing out there. Not owning a lawn mower or strimmer I decided to trim the lawn with scissors. This did not go as planned. Lets just say never let me loose with your hair!
I got in from work, grabbed the scissors, a radio, a chair and Monkey – the results are below;

1/4 cut garden

Garden killers

help is at hand

I realised it’s been 1 whole year since I first got Monkey! 30th March last year! How time (and money) flies!

Here are her best bits!

30th March 2008 – as big as a box of food!

31st March 2008 – wee wee!

Must kill sink

huh??

footy!

I’m just so sleepy

Stretchy!

Me no likey grass – 1st trip outside

She’s a killer queeeeennn

Bright Lights

Monkey loves Jamie Oliver

Squished Kitty

I’m Just sooooo sleepy

Not a happy kitty

My parents were down this weekend (more on that when I get the time) and they were giving Monkey lot’s of fuss. As I mentioned before Monkey is now allowed out, however, if you open the door in the day it’s all too scary and she runs and hides in my bedroom. Give her the freedom of the outdoors at night and she is off like a shot!
So my parents (Mother) decide to let her out at around 7.30 ish on Sunday. Off she goes and even when the curry (her fave) turned up she did not return. 10pm came and still no sign. Eventually my parents left at around 11pm and the bugger was still missing, I stayed up with the door ajar until around 1am and eventually thought ‘bugger this’ I’m going to sleep. Monkey usually sleeps on my bed so it was a little weird without her.
The morning came and still no sign, so i trundled off to work in my ‘Sexy Proton’ as my buddy Kieron calls it. I didn’t manage to get home at lunch so when I eventually returned it was about 6.30pm on the Monday. Nothing. I put my bags inside ready to have a look for her, and went back outside. I could hear a teeny meow coming from somewhere and I knew it was her. Anyone who has met my little friend knows she does not make normal cat noises.
I followed the noise to a tree outside my house and the closer I got to her, the more desperate the wailing got. The bugger had got herself stuck up a tree and god only knows how long she had been up there! Luckily I love climbing trees so in a few short moments I was up the tree, we were down and she was inside!
She politely held her wee all night until we got inside and then I fed her. She wolfed it down and promptly vomitted it all back up! I love my cat at times!

Ever since she has not left me alone! Clinging to my legs as I move! Bless

It’s been a while since I told a few Monkey stories on here… So here is a quick re cap.

She had her stitches out from the op. So I began letting her have a look at the big wide world outside. Her first night out alone the bugger disappeared for just over 2 hours in the middle of the night which resulted in me wandering the streets at 1am in my pj’s trainers and coat shouting her – classy! She managed to bring an ant in with her;

Small black dot = Ant, Monkey = HIDING!

Sniffing

Attack

Attack

Then another evening as I was happily eating my jacket tater, Monkey decided she liked the look of it and wham! foot straight in and the tater was shoved all round my desk!

The bugger ate it too. I’m sure cats are not supposed to eat tater!

She then decided she didn’t like it after all – by the way, this is the face she pulls when she smells something nasty!

There is an update. The crazy little swine!

I had to take Monkey to the vets to be spayed (Tuesday) She kept coming on heat, which I always described as her ‘looking in pain’ (more on this later).

We got to the vets at 8.30am where I left her to head to work. I was on tenter hooks all day at work, but received a phone call around lunch time to say she was fine, just a little grumpy! I went to pick her up at 5.15 ish and the nurse said she had been a real grump all day, and I was warned I may have to step in to help get her in her box as she was abit bitey!

She asked me to look at the computer as there had been complications during the surgery. Turns out the poor little mite had a cyst on her ovary that was huge! Monkey is only a teeny cat as it is. Bless her. They sent us home with a booster collar, that was made from material. If you want to see a picture of the cyst – click here.

I got the injured party home and gave her some yummy food, which after about 10 mins she promptly vomited straight back up! Cheers Monkey!

I slept on the sofa as I was really worried about her, she staggered around like she had been on the hard spirits and her eyes were all glazed over, I felt so guilty! I had to keep reminding myself it was in her best interests.

The next day I decided to go home for my lunch to check on her to find her collar inside out, the silly thing had folded back and she looked really daft sat in the window waiting for me. I called the vet and had to go pick up a stiffer plastic one! When I got home that evening I found she had managed to get to her wound and had made it bleed, I also *think* she managed to yank a stitch out, but as it wasn’t bleeding and looked ok, I left her too it.

The next few days consisted of me worrying, her being grumpy, and sleeping on the sofa.

I got home from the gym on Friday night to find her stomach seriously bruised and looking sore, so panic set in again and i phoned everyone asking for advice, eventually I called the vet and he asked me to take her in on the Saturday morning. So another sleepless night! All was well and it was just badly bruised, poor little mite!

She is still perking up at the moment, she has an odd moment where she vomits, thanks Monkey, but I think that is down to her being angry about the collar, which I might add as soon as a remove she goes straight for her wound and licks. I can understand why, i guess its starting to itch. But she now has her collar on 24/7.