Hannah Louise Swift

Is this Monkey or Archie? Archie is the Affiliate Window cat owned by Sam Leigh, Head of Communications at Affiliate Window. More fondly known as ‘little ginger monkey’

Spot the difference!!

I rent my house, let me start with that. If I had the money, I would buy it because I love it. But, when you rent there are a few things that you don’t usually own, one of these things being a lawn mower. I have never had a garden before so there has never been a use for one. Now I have 2 bits of lawn out the back and a chunk of grass out the front.
I like gardening and sitting out relaxing with a beverage or 3, so I thought I better go out sort the jungle growing out there. Not owning a lawn mower or strimmer I decided to trim the lawn with scissors. This did not go as planned. Lets just say never let me loose with your hair!
I got in from work, grabbed the scissors, a radio, a chair and Monkey – the results are below;

1/4 cut garden

Garden killers

help is at hand

I realised it’s been 1 whole year since I first got Monkey! 30th March last year! How time (and money) flies!

Here are her best bits!

30th March 2008 – as big as a box of food!

31st March 2008 – wee wee!

Must kill sink

huh??

footy!

I’m just so sleepy

Stretchy!

Me no likey grass – 1st trip outside

She’s a killer queeeeennn

Bright Lights

Monkey loves Jamie Oliver

Squished Kitty

I’m Just sooooo sleepy

Not a happy kitty

My parents were down this weekend (more on that when I get the time) and they were giving Monkey lot’s of fuss. As I mentioned before Monkey is now allowed out, however, if you open the door in the day it’s all too scary and she runs and hides in my bedroom. Give her the freedom of the outdoors at night and she is off like a shot!
So my parents (Mother) decide to let her out at around 7.30 ish on Sunday. Off she goes and even when the curry (her fave) turned up she did not return. 10pm came and still no sign. Eventually my parents left at around 11pm and the bugger was still missing, I stayed up with the door ajar until around 1am and eventually thought ‘bugger this’ I’m going to sleep. Monkey usually sleeps on my bed so it was a little weird without her.
The morning came and still no sign, so i trundled off to work in my ‘Sexy Proton’ as my buddy Kieron calls it. I didn’t manage to get home at lunch so when I eventually returned it was about 6.30pm on the Monday. Nothing. I put my bags inside ready to have a look for her, and went back outside. I could hear a teeny meow coming from somewhere and I knew it was her. Anyone who has met my little friend knows she does not make normal cat noises.
I followed the noise to a tree outside my house and the closer I got to her, the more desperate the wailing got. The bugger had got herself stuck up a tree and god only knows how long she had been up there! Luckily I love climbing trees so in a few short moments I was up the tree, we were down and she was inside!
She politely held her wee all night until we got inside and then I fed her. She wolfed it down and promptly vomitted it all back up! I love my cat at times!

Ever since she has not left me alone! Clinging to my legs as I move! Bless

It’s been a while since I told a few Monkey stories on here… So here is a quick re cap.

She had her stitches out from the op. So I began letting her have a look at the big wide world outside. Her first night out alone the bugger disappeared for just over 2 hours in the middle of the night which resulted in me wandering the streets at 1am in my pj’s trainers and coat shouting her – classy! She managed to bring an ant in with her;

Small black dot = Ant, Monkey = HIDING!

Sniffing

Attack

Attack

Then another evening as I was happily eating my jacket tater, Monkey decided she liked the look of it and wham! foot straight in and the tater was shoved all round my desk!

The bugger ate it too. I’m sure cats are not supposed to eat tater!

She then decided she didn’t like it after all – by the way, this is the face she pulls when she smells something nasty!

There is an update. The crazy little swine!