Mowing Lawns With Scissors = Bad, Very Bad

I rent my house, let me start with that. If I had the money, I would buy it because I love it. But, when you rent there are a few things that you don’t usually own, one of these things being a lawn mower. I have never had a garden before so there has never been a use for one. Now I have 2 bits of lawn out the back and a chunk of grass out the front.
I like gardening and sitting out relaxing with a beverage or 3, so I thought I better go out sort the jungle growing out there. Not owning a lawn mower or strimmer I decided to trim the lawn with scissors. This did not go as planned. Lets just say never let me loose with your hair!
I got in from work, grabbed the scissors, a radio, a chair and Monkey – the results are below;

1/4 cut garden

Garden killers

help is at hand